Hockey And Music

Chapter two of the wonderfully educational book The Indie Music Fan’s Guide to Being an Indie Music Fan is entitled “Acceptable Other Interests”, and states the following on page 34, paragraph two:

Under no circumstances whatsoever are Indie Music Lovers allowed to engage in or watch sports. Sport is anti-art that insidiously suppresses the individual creative instinct by advocating the inane concept of ‘team mentality’.

Just kidding! No such book exists…yet.

The inspiration for the above silliness came a couple days back when someone (who’ll remain anonymous) incredulously observed this about me: “You’re a big hockey fan? Really?!? But you’re such a huge book and music lover!”

This individual, however, was not the first person to make this astute observation about me, so Dear Blog Reader, let me clear up the confusion with information so shocking that you’ll likely click away in utter terror and dismay: I am a colossal NHL fan and follow it with a fervent passion. My team is the Edmonton Oilers, and I gotta tell ya, this year’s team looks promising, will be exciting to watch and will return to the playoffs this year for the first time in two years.

Self-indulgence aside, over the past few days I’ve been mulling over these two seemingly incongruous activities, desperately mining for some common ground, when suddenly it hit me like a bag of oranges: the personality types attracted to specific positions.

Let’s take a look.

1. Goalie/Drummer

It requires a particular kind of person to voluntarily block vulcanized rubber discs fired with intense velocity at the head or reproductive area, much like it takes a particular kind of person to sit around a drum kit and continuously emit pounding, thumping beats that cause brains to pinball around inside their skulls.

I know there’re loads of padding and ear devices that can be worn, but still not really for me.

2. Defence/Bass Player

What defence and bass have in common is this: no one ever wants to play this position. Whether playing an ad hoc game of scrimmage with your buds or starting a band, this is the one position no one ever wants to play. Why? Because traditionally defence or bass are considered boring and unheroic. But without defence/bass a team/band couldn’t function properly, which is why they attract the unsung heroes, the truly good people who aren’t interested in basking in the adoring glow of the limelight.

Since I’m definitely not “truly good”, this one also isn’t really for me.

3. Center/Lead Singer

The undisputed leader of the team/band, these leaders are responsible for, well, the energy of the team. Crowds always pick up on inept lead singers which in turn affect the rest of the band’s energy, whilst hockey fans always expect the center to dazzle defenders with some unheard of behind-the-back pass to left and right wingers who’ll score a blistering goal.

Too much pressure…not for me.

4. Left and Right Wing / Keyboard and Lead Guitarist

These I call the “look cool” position because, well, anyone who plays these positions looks beyond cool at every moment. Whether melting faces with a kaleidoscopic guitar solo or adroitly skating up the left or right, doing a fancy move on the defender and scoring glove side, these positions are fan magnets.

This is me, for sure.

Anyways, welcome back NHL. I’ve missed your frank ability to distract me from regularly updating my blog.

Music-related updates from now on (I promise).

Infinite Playlist : M83 - Saturdays = Youth